Quote for the day

"in the end we have a choice: burnout & cynicism vs. being true to what God has called you to, regardless of what change that brings to your current situation."

This is from Kim's Blog. She the very gifted worship leader (Sorry to short change you, Kim. I know that doesn't even begin to describe how wonderful you are.) at my church who just attended the 2009 re:create conference. It's some kind of worship leader get together thingy. And from what I've gathered, it's pretty cool. I'm sure this quote came in the context of being ministry. But it really has been making me think.

As some may know, I've been in kind of a restless, wrestling stage lately. Got those big "What? Where? When?" questions bouncing around. But I do find that, even if I'm not sure where I should be tomorrow, if I determine for now that where I am is right where God wants me, I am much less cynical or prone to feel burnt out in my job.

The hard part will be if/when I clearly know what God calls me to, can I embrace the "regardless of what change that brings to your current situation" part? It just makes me think about the Casting Crowns lyrics, "Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense. Deep water faith in the shallow end." One never really knows for sure until the time comes to act. I'd so like to think I could do something "regardless." But really, would I? Much like my youngest in the pool. She's so brave when she can touch the bottom. But take her out deeper, even when I reassure her that I will let nothing happen to her, and she is very afraid. I know she knows I love her and all. But still, her fear is greater than her faith that I won't allow any harm to come to her. One thing that does happen when I take her out deeper (other than the screaming), she clings more tightly to me.

Cling more tightly. That's not such a bad way to handle when we're in the deep end of life, is it?

What would DayVee do?

How can you tell that I'm having a bad day at work? How about when it's after 4:00 in the afternoon and I'm still downing coffee. And it's not even very good coffee. Why do I let myself get so stressed about my job at this time of the year? I'd go seek some professional help about it. But in the end I know they'd tell me it was just my parent's fault. You know, that being raised with a good work ethic kind of stuff and trying to live up to their expectations.

Not that I mind hard work or doing my best. And I do like what I do. But it is just a job. Like I told them when I interviewed here the decade an a half or so ago, a job isn't who I am. It's just a necessary evil because things cost money. I have a job to earn money with which I provide for my family. Hmmmm. If money was not an issue, meaning I had no debt and didn't have to worry about having to pay for a place to live or food, clothing or transportation, my basic needs, what would I want to do?

That's a question I've been pondering for a few weeks. Perhaps with a little twist or two. Like not what would I want to do but what would/does God want me to do? Couple that with Philippians 4:19 - "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

Realistically, I have no unmet material needs. In fact, like most Americans, I have far more than I need. And in my heart I know God is faithful. But if God clearly said to me quit your job and do "X" could I? Would I have enough trust in Him to "drop my nets" and follow Him? Would you? Do you?

Just thinking....

This will be a post in which I have very little to say. I have so may thing bouncing around in my brain and have so many more questions about the will of God than answers at this point in time.

If one has to, which does one choose, making a living or making a difference?

When is something confirmation of God's leading and when is it just a reasoned intellectual decision?

on the flip side...

How does one know when God is really closing a door or it's just a rationalization of why not to do something that might be hard?

Is there such a thing as something being the wise thing to do even when it seems crazy?

Is it because I am too close to myself that I seem to have such little clarity and discernemnt?

Whatever You’re Doing

Sanctus Real - Whatever You’re Doing
From the album We Need Each Other

It’s time for healing, time to move on,
it’s time to fix what’s been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong;
it’s time to find my way to where I belong

Chorus:
There’s a wave that’s crashing over me, and all I can do is surrender
Whatever You’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos, but somehow there’s peace
And it’s hard to surrender to what I can’t see, but I’m giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone, time to begin again, re-evaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will or just climbing aimlessly over these hills?
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything – I surrender

Chorus:

Time to face up, clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out that I’ve wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos, but I believe …
You’re up to something bigger than me
Larger than life, something heavenly

Whatever You’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos, but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life
Something heavenly, something heavenly

Time to face up, clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out

Today in worship...

I was overwhelmed today in worship. The thing that caught me off guard was the way it all hit me and what song prompted this. The hymn was written about 175 years ago by Edward Mote;

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

The message is so simple and is so where I'm at these days. I've been prompted by my daily Bible reading these past few months to re-examine the things in my life through the filter of am I trusting in Jesus or other stuff in the way I live my life. All other ground is sinking sand, save building on the hope of Christ.

Then the sermon containing Philipppians 1:6 "Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus."

Am I really confident that He'll complete it or am I still trying to force how I think things should be? Surrender, complete and unconditional surrender, that's what it takes. God is faithful. I am not. Solid ground or sinking sand? What's it going to be? I choose The Solid Rock.

Then to close with "From the Inside Out."

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out

This song always gets me. But today. Boy I had a hard time containing myself. I just tried to tune out everybody else and sang this wholeheartedly like I never had before. I know I'm so flawed and have failed a thousand times a thousand. But there is no half-way with God. We either submit to Him and let Him consume us or we don't. His will above all esle, my purpose remains the art of losing myself in bringing Him praise. My purpose is not to live my life my way. But to let Him live through me in a way that brings glory and praise to Him. I just read earlier this week that it profits a man nothing to gain the whole world but lose his soul. But whoever loses his life for the sake of Christ will save it. I don't know what's next. But I guess I shouldn't be too concerned. I'm not driving anyway, And the One who is, knows where He's going.

Just words about words

When I'm working in a couple of applications at the same time or surfing on the web and I type but my cursor doesn't seem to be anywhere, where do all those letters or words go? I know I typed something. And sometimes they were log ins and passwords. Is somebody collecting all that somewhere? Does it all end up in a dead letter office somewhere?

Dead letters. Hmmm. Were they ever really alive?

I'm so glad I learned English as a child while my mind still had room to keep track of all the odd things in the language. Like the words to, too, two or do, dew, due. Or what about the word live. Casting Crowns played live in the house where I live. The word looks the same but I bet you read it two different ways in that sentence.

How did I ever learn which way to spell the "f" sound. The rough, fat philanthropist from Philadelphia had enough funds. How does somebody know when hot and cool mean the same thing or are opposites? Does every language have these kinds of issues?

Or what about when a word changes. My kid were reading an older book and it used the word "gay" as in happy, joyful. But somewhere it came to mean a person who is attracted to another person of the same sex. Oh, and what about the word marriage. It's defined as a legal union between a man and woman as husband and wife. You think I'll get stares from people if I announce that my parents have a gay marriage? Some people might think they are very progressive. That is until they find out I have a male father and a female mother and they are happy together as husband and wife. I guess I've just determined I'm all for gay marriage.

One Single Moment in Time

One event at a single moment in time can alter a life, impact the lives of countless people, change the course of the future.

My family spent this past weekend on a little get away to Oklahoma City. We just wanted to escape to someplace different. Besides shopping elbow to elbow with every Oklahoman in the state, we went to the Oklahoma City National Memorial and Museum. In the museum visitors walk through different "chapters" in the story ranging from the history of the site for the Alfred P. Murrah Building, the events on April 19,1995 when the bombing occurred and on through the stories of the victims, the families, the rescuers and others whose lives were impacted. It's a very moving exhibit.

Outside where the Murrah building and street used to be is a field of chairs representing those whose lives were lost in the building and a reflecting pool which is flanked on each side by two "Gates of Time." The wall-like gate to the east bears the time 9:01, the moment before the bombing. To the west the time displayed is 9:03, the moment after the bombing.

9:02 - That is the moment in time that changed everything for so many people. I can't imagine what some of those people have gone through and still go through. The final chapter in the museum is "Hope."

Tonight and tomorrow we will celebrate a moment in time when everything changed for the entire world. The Hope of Nations came to us. The angels sang in a glorious choir, the stars even declared the event. In spite of the hustle and bustle of the "holiday season" we can't escape knowing that Christmas is really about is the birth of Jesus Christ.

Though that event, the birth of Emmanuel, God with us, has impacted the history of the world, we must each choose how it will impact our lives. The moment one kneels at the manger and accepts all Jesus offers in His coming will be one of those moments that will alter their life, can impact the lives of countless others, and might very well change the very course of history.

Please, take a moment and change everything.